


Perfect Imperfection

by Medie



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Community: fandom_stocking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-31
Updated: 2012-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:31:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bliss isn't eternal, but it's not supposed to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect Imperfection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [verucasalt123](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=verucasalt123).



There's a thing about perfect happiness. Angel doesn't realize it in the beginning, not when the curse is laid on him, not when he meets Buffy, not when Angelus rises again, and not even when the hell dimension sucks him in. It's not for years after, in fact, when he's in Los Angeles and the world keeps trying to fall apart around him that it finally does sink in.

Perfect happiness, that one moment, is exactly that. One moment in a lifetime. In Angel's case a moment to realize that his exile from the world was not complete. That someone still did, and always would, love him. A moment to realize he wasn't as damned as the demon lurking inside him.

A moment that will never be repeated again. He'll never forget the lesson that moment taught him, carries the truth of what Buffy meant to him with him every day, but that kind of happiness is an impermanent thing. Bliss isn't eternal, but it's not supposed to be. 

"It's an inspiration," he says, when Wesley looks at him that first time, worry about the curse in his eyes. "The kind of thing you keep with you to keep you going. It's not—" he waves a hand, fumbling the gesture, "it's not about _that_." 

Wesley considers it, then nods. "There is that possibility," he says, the wheels beginning to turn. "More than a few have postulated that—" He never does get a chance to finish the thought, Angel's kissing him before he can get the words out. 

From there, in all the nights and mornings that follow, Angel does his best to ensure he doesn't need to. The fact that Angel is the one Wesley lies down with and wakes up beside tells the tale well enough. Perfection is unsustainable and he isn't interested in it. The quiet satisfaction that sits in his gut is a thousand times better, all the more for the bittersweet edge of awareness of everything that lies behind him. Everything he and Angelus have done. 

Of course, Wesley being Wesley, there's enough Watcher left in him that he writes incessantly. Angel isn't surprised at all to find that he's written about this.

Picking it up, he looks at the book then at Wesley. "Really? They're interested in this?"

"Naturally," Wesley says, sitting back with pen still in hand. It dangles languidly from his fingers, drawing Angel's eye to the elegant length of those fingers. Makes it difficult to concentrate on what Wes is saying. "A lack of understanding is what freed Angelus in the first place." 

Angel puts the leather-bound book down again, nodding in agreement. If they'd known then a lot of people would still be alive. 

Plus, there was that whole Angel in a hell dimension thing that he could have skipped. 

Bonus.

Wesley's hand, pen and all, grabs hold of his and pulls him down for a kiss. "It's never happening again. I won't allow it." 

Angel presses his forehead against Wesley's and grins. "No moments of perfect happiness in your plans?"

"Hardly," Wes says, voice dry. "Once perfection's achieved, what's left to strive for?"


End file.
